apparently the secret to your success is patron
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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