omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
