Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
