i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
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Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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