I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Don't make out with my wife yet
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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