1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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