How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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