Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
then he tried to convert me to islam
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
