We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Green mimosas i think yes
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
