Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Im part way to drunk.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
