The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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