and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
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