would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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