did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
