I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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