I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
the raccoons are back...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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