I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
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I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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