Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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