he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
