Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
