i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
