Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
