I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
