I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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