There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
