I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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