if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
