She said her name was "party"
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
