wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
