Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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