whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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