i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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