We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
