I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
