I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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