Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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