No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
