how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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