Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
