so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
