I'd wear matching sweaters with you
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize