Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize