So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
