I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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