How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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