don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just cut my nipple shaving
apparently the secret to your success is patron
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
