I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
