i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We have started to decorate penises.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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