Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
