He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I supernannyed him into submission
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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