I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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