Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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