I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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