y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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