he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
