So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
