Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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