So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
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my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
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I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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