I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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