why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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