weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
nutella sex= disaster
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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