I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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