I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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