it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
