Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
