Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
