ya dads aren't the best wingmen
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
